Forgotten
by Teagan
Summary: With a flick of the wrist a past is forgotten. SLASH! HarrySnape


Title:_ Forgotten_

Pairing: _Harry/Snape _

A/N: _Well, here's yet another HP/SS and just to let you know, it's a very implied ending story. You'll have to fill in the pieces to which I don't go into depth in explaining, but I think if you read the story well enough, you'll understand the plot line just fine:)_

Cheers!-

Tegan

It was a cold August day, unlike the usual summer heat, and sitting amongst a crowd of dreary faces, was that of a Mr. Harry Potter. His eyes never stayed in one place, unlike those of the people around him; and in all honestly he looked as though he didn't belong. 'Why am I here?' Harry asked Lupin for the millionth time. The older wizard sighed, 'This was how Dumbledore would have wanted it.' Lupin explained. Harry nodded, 'but…I hated him.' Harry pointed out. 'In fact, I might have even wanted him dead at one point or another.' Lupin sighed, 'Harry…I know it's hard to understand but…' Lupin gasped and coughed as Harry leaned forward to see Tonks pulling her elbow back to herself.

'Sorry Remus.' She muttered sweetly. Lupin rolled his eyes and the ceremony continued.

'I still don't understand…' He hissed. He looked around at the teary eyed people, a few who looked at him as though he were insane. 'I want to leave.' Harry said finally to Lupin. But Lupin merely shook his head. 'No Harry, this is how is has to be.' Harry's chest pounded with unexplained emotion. 'I.want.to.leave.' he said threw clenched teeth.

He closed his eyes and saw flashes of a man. But who was it? He opened his eyes suddenly feeling very nauseous. 'I'm going…' Harry muttered as he pushed himself up and walked away from Lupin. 'Harry!' he hissed; but Harry did not turn around.

_It was soon to be the final battle, one Harry had been waiting for his entire life; well almost his entire life. It had been an awaited end to a far too long rein of the infamous Lord Voldermort. Harry knew that this battle would mean one of the two things, he would either A) die or B) survive. His life at that moment was a mere toss of a coin. Unlike his many other adventures there wasn't going to be a loop hole or a fancy way out; he was to either defeat Voldermort or die. _

'_Potter.' Harry turned to face Snape, he looked some what nervous and this alone confused Harry. 'Professor.' Harry muttered stuffing his hands into his pockets. 'How do you feel?' Snape asked. Harry laughed, 'How do I feel?' He paused. '…why?' Snape glared at him losing all emotion except for that of sheer annoyance. He squinted his eyes at the younger man and turned away sharply. Harry watched his robes flow behind thinking somehow they reminded him of something from a dream. _

'For God sakes Harry!' Lupin snapped pulling him off to the side, behind a small shack where no one could have seen them. 'What?!' Harry growled pulling away from him. 'Show some damn respect why don't you…' Lupin hissed. Harry rolled his eyes, 'He's dead Remus, why should I care? Why should anyone care? He was an arse and you know it!' Lupin rolled his eyes and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

Harry snorted, 'Wonderful habit.'

'Thanks.' Lupin snapped. 'You know…not even you cared this much about…Ron.' Harry spat out. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to picture him in his mind but he couldn't. Lupin sighed, 'Harry, this is just different. Not more important than Ron or less, just different.'

Harry looked at the ground and wondered why it was a such a big deal. Even Tonks who usually always sided with Harry thought that he couldn't skip out on this. 'I'm sorry Remus…I am, but I honestly hated the man.' Lupin pulled his cigarette out of his mouth and chuckled. 'You don't get it do you?' he asked, Harry sighed, 'Get what?'

'Why do you hate him?' Lupin asked.

'Because he was an arse to me…and nothing else! Are you kidding me?' Harry shook his head. 'You don't hate him Harry.' Angered filled him once more, along with feelings he again could not explain. He closed his eyes and saw robes blowing, the seasons changing, and a sad face of loss he couldn't even begin to comprehend.

'Harry…did you ever feel like you had a million questions to ask but you couldn't begin to know even how to ask them?'

Harry opened his eyes and looked at Lupin, but Harry said nothing.

'Did you ever feel like you were dreaming, only to find that you've been awake and wondered if maybe you're entire day had been a big day dream?' Harry bit his lip, why was Lupin saying this?

'I know its strange Harry….but…'

_Harry stood alone in the dark as the battle that would end all others raged. Snape had sent him there, and he felt as though he should be fighting but he couldn't remember how to, even if he were forced into it. 'Potter?' someone hissed. Harry whipped around and came face to face with Snape. Harry stepped backwards. 'What am I doing?' he asked his professor. Snape snorted, 'Being your brilliant self as usually.' His voice was cold, but something about it made Harry's breathing hitch. _

_Snape starred at him for a moment and then turned his head towards the stars. 'Never trust the sky to lead you home.' He said walking forward. Harry followed. 'What, why?' Harry asked, Snape said nothing for a moment. 'Because it just doesn't work Potter.' _

_Harry bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying anything else. _

'_Follow the northern star'…. But it doesn't work, alas here we are.' Harry closed his eyes. He remembered that much now; that was how they had ended up where they were. 'I feel like I can't keep anything in my memory…' Harry said. He blushed because he hadn't meant to say it aloud; and then he coughed surprised when he ran full into Snape who had stopped. _

'_Shit!' Harry panted feeling alarmed. _

'_What did you say?' Snape breathed._

'_Watch where you're stopping!' Harry snapped. _

_Snape turned around and grabbed his shoulders starring at him very intently. 'What did you say?' he asked. Harry's breath hitched and it was like he could remember something…something that was stolen from him._

'_I…I can't remember things lately.' Harry muttered. Snape pulled back looking ashamed, but said nothing. _

'_Snape?' Harry asked. _

_The Potions master grunted. _

'_Do you think I'm going to die?' Snape let a small chuckle escape him. 'Only time can tell Potter, only time can tell.'_

'What is strange?' Harry snapped. 'That you're forcing me to go to a funeral of a man that I hated?' Lupin looked at the ground and said nothing. 'Yeah, it's real fucking strange.' Harry kicked a rock that lay by his feet and walked forward away from Lupin. 'I'm going back to Hogwarts.' He said. Lupin opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something, but didn't.

'See you.' Harry muttered.

_Snape continued to walk and Harry followed. 'Slow down will you!' Harry panted tripping over what felt like the millionth piece of shrubbery that night. 'Right Potter, let's make ourselves an even easier target for the Dark Lord, shall we?' Snape shook his head and carried on. Harry ran forward in an attempt to catch up but fell after a rather nasty root caught his boot. _

'_Shit…' Harry groaned his voice muffled in the dirt. 'You continue to amaze me Potter…' Snape mumbled grabbing the younger man's arms and hauling him up. Harry blushed from embarrassment but allowed the help. 'I think maybe I should just give up right now…' Harry muttered. Snape let his hands drop and Harry once again found his face in the dirt. _

'_You're truly a saint Potter.' He said from above him. Harry looked up and his head began to spin. 'Potter?!' Snape snapped, but he couldn't respond. His mind was filled_

_With conversation he sure was fake…and a man; a man he didn't know. 'Who are you?!'_

_Harry snapped. 'Get up!' Snape grabbed him, but Harry pulled away. 'No…I need to know…'_

'_GET UP POTTER!" the air became silent and suddenly Harry knew they weren't alone. _

'_You could have just sent up a flare Snape.' _

_It was, of course, Draco Malfoy._

Hogwarts looked like death, and somehow being there wasn't any better than being at Snape's funeral. The building was almost completely intact, but for once in the entire time Harry had admired the castle, it looked like it had survived the forces against it for far too long. Harry walked into the front doors and looked around feeling uneasy.

The entire place was empty, not one foot step echoed throw the corridors and not one voice bounced from wall to wall. So Harry turned and left.

_He wasn't for sure where Malfoy had taken them, but once he woke from whatever shocked state he was in he saw that it was something of jail cell. 'Snape?' Harry muttered looking around. His vision was slightly blurred and it was too dark to tell if even anyone were near him. 'Potter.' Snape said placing cold metal into his hands. They were his glasses; Harry slipped them on and suddenly the world was seen once more. _

'_Where…?'_

'_Malfoy Manor.' Snape snapped. Harry looked over at the older man and gasped. 'Shit…what happened?' Harry asked seeing his bruised eye and swollen, busted bottom lip. Snape said nothing. 'What did they do?' Harry snapped. Snape turned his head towards him looking cautious. _

'_What does it matter?!' Snape shouted. _

'_Because it does!...It does?' Harry's heart pounded a million miles per hour. 'Why does it matter?' He whispered. He grabbed his hair and pulled feeling insane. 'Why can't I remember?' Harry gasped his eyes suddenly stinging. 'Potter…' Snape hissed._

'_Why do…why can't…'_

'_You can't remember Potter…you must understand by now….' Snape muttered. Harry looked up at Snape and his stomach flipped. 'Harry…' Snape whispered._

'_HARRY! SEVERUS!' Harry and Snape turned their heads to see Lupin and Kingsley. Lupin pulled out his wand and muttered a spell. The doors flew open. 'Are you Okay?' Lupin asked kneeling in front of him. Harry looked to Snape and then back to Lupin. _

'_I'm fine…' he muttered. Lupin touched his cheek with the back of his hand and then looked to Snape. Kingsley snorted, 'You look like shite Snape.' _

Harry found himself at number 12 Grimmauld place, but somehow it was the last place he wanted to be. This house however, was also empty. 'Has the entire world gone to worship a man who was nothing but horrible?' Harry muttered walking into the kitchen.

'Harry?!' Someone shouted. It was Lupin. Harry grabbed a pitcher of Pumpkin juice and a glass.

'What?' He asked walking from the kitchen. 'We need to talk.' Lupin muttered.

Harry rolled his eyes and sat down.

_Harry didn't know why he ended up in front of Snape's doors that night, but there he stood, knocking and waiting for a reply. 'Come in.' a voice shouted. Harry pushed in and walked towards Snape. He looked up for a split second and then froze; his eyes caught on Harry. Something about it was familiar…in way Harry once again couldn't explain. _

'_What Potter?' he asked. _

'_You look better.' Harry told him shoving his hands into his pockets. 'Hmm.' Snape hummed. 'I just…it's just…' Harry bit his tongue. He had no true reason for being there, it was as if instinct had dragged him to the dungeons that night. 'You don't belong here Potter.' Snape said standing. 'I don't?' Harry muttered. 'Its just…I don't even know why I wanted to come down here, just something in my mind…is this just some stupid side affect of almost being killed or what?' Harry found himself breathing very hard . _

'_Sit Potter.' Snape said pointing to an over stuffed green chair. Snape came over holding out a glass of what appeared to be alcohol. 'It's expensive; so drink slowly.' Harry nodded and took a sip and coughed slightly. Snape rolled his eyes. 'He's not dead yet…' Harry muttered. Snape looked up at him. 'It's just a matter of time.' _

'_What if I can't remember how to fight when I'm face to face? I can barely remember…anything…' Harry shook his head and set his glass down. 'It'll be over Potter…and then things will be normal again.'_

_Harry looked up at him and saw his face half hidden in the shadows from the dark. Harry nodded but said nothing in return. _

'I don't see why you keep insisting the problem has to do with me not talking about my 'feelings'…' Harry sat down at the table and began pouring himself a drink. 'You misunderstood me Harry…I need to talk to you.' Harry set the pitcher down and took a sip of his pumpkin juice. 'Well?' Harry asked sounding annoyed.

Lupin sighed, 'Harry…about six months ago going to Snape's funeral would have been something you'd never miss, or complain about.'

Harry snorted, 'What's that supposed to mean?'

Lupin cleared his throat looking clearly uncomfortable. 'Harry….six months ago Snape was one of the few things you cared about. Actually…' Lupin paused, 'It was the only thing you care about.'

Harry shook his head, 'Snape…I cared about Snape? Where are you getting your information? God… I for one thought you'd be above any shite gossip about me…'

Lupin slammed his fist down on the table looking fed up. 'You don't understand! This is not gossip! It is fact!'

_Harry woke from a dream he swore had been real. A tall figure in black…a man…a man who spoke like a lover. 'God…now I'm going insane…' Harry looked about his four poster bed and sighed. This was how things were. Harry slept in the Gryffindor tower alone, while numerous members of the order stood watch. Harry got up and made his way down the stairs and towards the portrait hole. No one was actually in the common room that night, but Harry was sure that upon exiting a face of familiarity would appear. _

'_Potter.' Harry looked up and saw Snape standing with his arms crossed. 'I'm just going to get a something to eat…' Harry said walking past him. A hand grabbed his wrist stopping him. Harry jerked away face suddenly hot with confusion. 'Don't…touch me.' Harry muttered. Snape's face fluttered something of surprise and then the emotion was gone. _

'_You're not allowed to leave the Common room after midnight Potter; you know the rules.' _

_Harry glared at the older man wanting to kill him…wanting to…STOP THINKING ABOUT HIS GOD DAMNED DREAM WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO BE PISSED AT SNAPE!_

'_Fuck you.' Harry snapped both angered and confused. Snape tossed a sinister smirk in his direction, 'Been there, done that.' As soon as the words escaped the man's lips he seemed to have regretted saying them. 'What did you say?' Harry choked breath coming out in small pants. Snape said nothing and simply starred at the floor. Harry stepped foreword towards Snape to punch him…to kill him…but suddenly his scar burned with an unusual pain and Harry's eyes slowly rolled back into his head._

'A Fact? How the fuck can something you make up be a fact Lupin?!' Harry shoved the glass and pitcher off the table. They hit the ground breaking and spilling the sweet, sticky contents everywhere. 'You have to understand Harry…' Lupin stood but Harry had already backed away. It was just like before…everything he knew…everything Snape couldn't say.

'It was…it was the only thing blocking Dumbledore's plan to defeat Volde…'

Harry walked foreword and smacked Lupin across the face. 'Don't you lie to me!' Harry panted angrily. 'What kind of plan…what did you do to me?!' Harry pushed Lupin backwards but he man barely moved. 'Snape and you…it was worse thing that could have happened. Dumbledore…' Lupin paused. 'He never predicted this…he never did…'

'What did you steal from me?!' Harry screamed pulling out his wand. Lupin stood looking ashamed. 'I don't blame you Harry…I deserve whatever you do…I could have stopped it…I could have made up reasons. But I didn't.' The air became thin and Harry panted angrily, his breaths still coming in short gasps. Lupin shook his head and spoke:

'Harry…you were in love with Snape.'

_There were hands on each side of his face. 'Calm yourself Potter…' Harry took a deep breath and opened his eyes. Snape was kneeled next to him and it was his hands touching his face. 'I…' Harry paused realizing he had no idea what he was going to say. Then suddenly something hit him; a candle was lit and one truth was found. _

'_I dream about you Snape.' Snape raised a brow and pulled his hands back and rested on his knees. Harry sat up. 'Do you ever…do ever feel like there's a sense of Déjà Vu_ _ that'll never disappear…' Harry paused, '…because…there's this one thing you just can't remember?' _

_Snape swallowed. _

_Harry shook his head. 'Never mind.' He stood up and brushed himself off feeling like the biggest git alive. A hand rested on his shoulder and he turned around. Snape looked at him with an emotion Harry couldn't quite pin point. It was almost…longing... 'You need to focus on the task at hand Potter.' _

_Harry nodded and said nothing more. _

Harry clenched his fists in anger. Lupin opened his mouth as though to apologize again, but a word didn't escape. 'I loved him?' Harry asked. Lupin nodded. Harry felt his eyes begin to sting. 'I don't even remember…'

Lupin then spoke. 'We erased your memory Harry…well, we did our best anyways. It's obvious not everything was erasable.' Harry bit his lip and thought about Snape. 'Did he…' Harry knew the answer; he didn't know how, but he already did. 'Harry…'

'If I loved someone…and they loved me back…why? Why did you..' Harry crossed his arms and turned so his back faced Lupin. His eyes filled to the brim with everything he couldn't explain. 'How could you let them…?' Harry gasped, taking in small breaths that barely helped Harry express the emotions that suddenly made every crazy thought he had had about Snape all too real. 'Harry…we made a mistake..'

Harry shook his head and said nothing.

'Please…you must understand. Snape was merely a pawn in Voldermort's game…we knew his…death would affect you and couldn't let anything get in the way of you defeating Voldermort.'

Harry closed his eyes. That's what his whole existence was about. It wasn't living or love, or discovery…it was making the world better for everyone else. Harry kept his silence and not long after Lupin gave up. He left saying he'd check in on him later, though Harry wished he'd maybe never come across his path again.

_Harry ran down to the dungeons and pounded on Snape's door. He looked about making sure no one else was in sight and went in.. Snape who must have been right at the door was run into by Harry. 'For God sakes Potter…'_

'_What the hell have you been planning!' Harry shouted pushing him forward. Snape snorted, 'What are you babbling about?' He asked straightening himself and walking towards his desk where papers laid scattered and un-graded. 'Oh fuck you! Pretend like you don't know!' Harry shouted. Snape turned and glared at him, 'Well, it's nice to see someone has grown into a fine sophisticated young man.' _

_Harry bit his tongue but said nothing. _

'_It's none of your god damn business what I've been planning, and it'd do you some good to for once keep your nose out of other people's affairs Potter.' _

_Harry growled in frustration, 'Don't Potter me!' He grabbed Snape's hand and yanked him foreword out of anger, but suddenly found himself with his body pressed to that of his ex-professors. Harry felt his face become red, and Snape didn't move. 'What if…if I told you I loved you.' Harry whispered. Snape tried to pull away but Harry held him in place; 'What if I told you that after the war…I want us to live together…start a life together? What would that change anything?' Harry whispered. _

_Snape took a deep breath and pressed his forehead to Harry's. 'Change Potter?'_

_Harry lifted his hand and rested it against the Snape's cold cheek. 'I'm not deaf…In fact sometimes I think I can hear through walls.' Harry told him. Snape looked at the floor but said nothing. Suddenly a sob emerged and Harry grabbed Snape's head and pulled him into a kiss. He pulled back ending it as quickly as it had started. _

'_They will never take away this…'Harry hissed. '…and you better never forget that.' This time Snape pulled Harry foreword and crushed his mouth to his. Harry groaned and wrapped his arms around the older man's neck. It was a slow battle of things they couldn't change, and the decision that would break a future. When Harry pulled back and took a deep breath, Snape starred at him for the first time with no regret, and no confusion. _

'Harry?' Harry stood at Snape's grave looking at it with curiosity. Lupin rested a hand on his shoulder. 'Alright?' Harry sighed and closed his eyes only see the face of a past he couldn't even remember. The wind blew gently through his hair and still Harry felt barely anything.

'I'm fine.' He lied.

_Fin_


End file.
